Gwen Kruger
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The Redhead

3/5/2013

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Once there was a beautiful red head at the doctor’s office.  The nurse called her back for her visit, and took her to the preliminary station.

The nurse took her temperature, checked the blood pressure and then said, “Step right up there on that little platform so we can get your weight.” 

“It’ll take me a minute,” said the red head. 

Just then the phone rang and the nurse stepped out of the hallway to answer it.  When she returned, there was the red head stark naked, standing on the scale, with her clothes over her arm.  “I weigh less without my clothes,” she said. 

The nurse gave her one of those little backless paper doilies to put on so that she could walk down the hall.  The redhead put it on backwards and clutched it shut across her front.

“They forgot to put buttons on this thing,” she said.

Once in the examining room, the nurse disappeared.  Bored, the redhead decided to put closures on her gown.  In the drawers in the examining room, she found tape and some clear rubber gloves.  She taped one glove to the right side of her chest and one to the left side.  Then she tied the longest fingers together.  She continued the closures by taping more gloves to the right sides and then the left sides and tying them in the middle, usually by just the longest digit. 

Still no doctor had appeared so she looked into the drawer to see what else she could find.  There was some adhesive tape, but that was all.  Well, she got some paper towels and fashioned herself a pair of shorts.  Then she took a nip here and a tuck there, making the paper doily into a fashion statement.

The doctor had still not appeared, so the redhead opened the door and headed down the hallway.  She peered into every open doorway and finally found the room she was looking for.  She sat down on a chair and propped her bare feet up on the desk.  It was a long time, but the doctor finally came into his office. 

“Egad, Pastor , what are you doing here?”

Don’t you love surprise endings?  I do too.

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    Gwen Kruger, author, writer, crazy person.  I love writing, the outdoors, and my husband, although not necessarily in that order. 

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