Fair season is just about over and it reminds me that we sometimes do strange things. Imagine washing a pig, watching someone milk a goat, show a chicken, or standing over a fence watching a cow eat hay from a box, all in the name of entertainment. It’s right up there with watching grass grow.
After many years at the fair, I see what I should have said when my son asked the question the little boy does.
One day a little towheaded boy and his mother were driving past a field of cows.
“Mom, what would happen if one of the cows touched the electric fence?”
Mom, used to the what if questions her son thought up, answered, “Its horns would sound, and it’s eyes would light up.”
“Could I ride it?” asked the little boy.
“Sure. It would be ready for highway use. On its back bumper would be a sign: Beware – Slow cow for 20 miles.”
“Awesome. I want one.”
“Sure. Here’s the advertisement:
Travel Cow for Sale
Slightly less than 1 horsepower.
Emissions may be slippery when wet.
Windshield wiper on the wrong end.
Runs on Grass, cheap grass.
Original leather upholstery
Variety of colors: Guernsey brown, Swiss brown, Angus black, Jersey spots, etc.
Limousine model slightly larger than the rest
Breaks for tasty green tidbits beside the road.
When left unattended tends to cross fence lines.”
The boy was silent for a split second. Then he said, “How many people does it carry?”
“It’s not for passenger use. Driver will have to milk every mile out of it.”
After many years at the fair, I see what I should have said when my son asked the question the little boy does.
One day a little towheaded boy and his mother were driving past a field of cows.
“Mom, what would happen if one of the cows touched the electric fence?”
Mom, used to the what if questions her son thought up, answered, “Its horns would sound, and it’s eyes would light up.”
“Could I ride it?” asked the little boy.
“Sure. It would be ready for highway use. On its back bumper would be a sign: Beware – Slow cow for 20 miles.”
“Awesome. I want one.”
“Sure. Here’s the advertisement:
Travel Cow for Sale
Slightly less than 1 horsepower.
Emissions may be slippery when wet.
Windshield wiper on the wrong end.
Runs on Grass, cheap grass.
Original leather upholstery
Variety of colors: Guernsey brown, Swiss brown, Angus black, Jersey spots, etc.
Limousine model slightly larger than the rest
Breaks for tasty green tidbits beside the road.
When left unattended tends to cross fence lines.”
The boy was silent for a split second. Then he said, “How many people does it carry?”
“It’s not for passenger use. Driver will have to milk every mile out of it.”
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