A Childlike View of the Functions of the Federal Government
Presidentures – Old man in charge of everything. If he isn’t old when he starts this job, he will be when he finishes it, just from trying to get the people in the House of Cards and the Send Nate to get along and do things right. My mom gets gray hairs when my brother and I don’t get along. I think the Presidentures does too. That’s why he is so old.
Underwear Secretary –Doesn’t want to be seen. It’s embarrassing… but funny. His friend, the guy in a suit keeps promising to send him some more clothes, but so far that hasn’t happened.
Secretary of de Fence – Puts up fences around every country in the world. It costs a lot of money. He sends out Army Guys to do the real work.
Secretary of de Yard – Makes other countries mow their lawns.
Secretary of Schools –Tells people to make all kids alike by going to school. The dumb kids have to get smarter and the smart kids have to get dumber so they can all be the same.
Secretary of Farmers – Does the paperwork so that the farmers can go riding around in their tractors
Washington Lobbyist – The guy that stands in the entry to the hotel and waits for you to come. When you get there, he tries to tell you that you need a whole bunch of stuff you don’t.
House of Cards – Where a bunch of people in suits get together and argue. They stack the deck against anyone that isn’t rich. Sometimes they don’t pay any attention to what the other people are saying and sometimes they don’t even go to the House of Cards. They just want to sleep in or go play with the Lobbyist.
Send Nate – Not really a person, but lots of people that try to shoot arrows with notes on them at the House of Cards and try to knock it down. I think the notes tell the people in the House of Cards that no matter what they do the people shooting the arrows don’t like it. Sometimes they also shoot arrows at the Presidentures Palace but he dodges the bullet. That’s what Dad says. Maybe he means the arrows.
Super Court – A bunch of old guys in black dresses that tell everyone else to knock it off.
The Cupboard – Where the Presidentures keeps his old people things.
Presidentures – Old man in charge of everything. If he isn’t old when he starts this job, he will be when he finishes it, just from trying to get the people in the House of Cards and the Send Nate to get along and do things right. My mom gets gray hairs when my brother and I don’t get along. I think the Presidentures does too. That’s why he is so old.
Underwear Secretary –Doesn’t want to be seen. It’s embarrassing… but funny. His friend, the guy in a suit keeps promising to send him some more clothes, but so far that hasn’t happened.
Secretary of de Fence – Puts up fences around every country in the world. It costs a lot of money. He sends out Army Guys to do the real work.
Secretary of de Yard – Makes other countries mow their lawns.
Secretary of Schools –Tells people to make all kids alike by going to school. The dumb kids have to get smarter and the smart kids have to get dumber so they can all be the same.
Secretary of Farmers – Does the paperwork so that the farmers can go riding around in their tractors
Washington Lobbyist – The guy that stands in the entry to the hotel and waits for you to come. When you get there, he tries to tell you that you need a whole bunch of stuff you don’t.
House of Cards – Where a bunch of people in suits get together and argue. They stack the deck against anyone that isn’t rich. Sometimes they don’t pay any attention to what the other people are saying and sometimes they don’t even go to the House of Cards. They just want to sleep in or go play with the Lobbyist.
Send Nate – Not really a person, but lots of people that try to shoot arrows with notes on them at the House of Cards and try to knock it down. I think the notes tell the people in the House of Cards that no matter what they do the people shooting the arrows don’t like it. Sometimes they also shoot arrows at the Presidentures Palace but he dodges the bullet. That’s what Dad says. Maybe he means the arrows.
Super Court – A bunch of old guys in black dresses that tell everyone else to knock it off.
The Cupboard – Where the Presidentures keeps his old people things.
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