I once saw an ad for a product made with real strawberries. Really? What I want to know is what kind of strawberries are not real? Does that mean they are blackberries, or raspberries? Maybe they are pieces of colored sawdust. Who knows but it does make me wonder.
Another sign that got me wondering was the store that advertised ammunition and Corny Bits breakfast cereal for sale. I began wondering how I could put those two things together. I mean, is the ammunition laden with food particles, or is it the other way around? Maybe the cereal is full of gas producing products that create ammunition within the body. Thus the breakfast table battle cry could become, “Pass the Corny Bits and look out for the ammunition.” Or “I had Corny Bits last night for a snack so stand back. I’m full of ammunition.” The phrase, “Oh shoot!” could take on a whole new meaning.
Then there’s the ad that says, “When the mood strikes, will you be ready?” The mood has already struck. I’m ready to scream. Is nothing sacred anymore? I guess not. Wives apparently spend their lives flipping your switches and then being disappointed if the light bulb is burned out. My suggestion? Fix the grounding wire or a meal.
I’d like to rewrite some of those ads. Here’s a small sample: Where will you be when the mood strikes? Let us help. Come on in to the Home Warehouse where we’ll nail down the problem and help you erect a structure that can’t be blown away. If it doesn’t fall down in five hours we will send out our insurance company and they will sing a jingle to you about your underwear. Then it will fall down and you will be again ready to erect the same structure when the mood strikes. Our wide variety of hammers will make sure it strikes. Your wife can help too. Have her fix the Corny Bits with real strawberries and pass the ammunition.
That’s the extent of my tirade on commercials. Starting today, watch for the regular ads to return with their little quirks. Come back next week to see what I have found to point out.