Gwen Kruger
  • Home
  • Women's Fiction
  • Young Adult
  • Children's Books
  • Blog

This is Sick

11/27/2012

1 Comment

 
This is Sick

Illness at home is a matter of wife and spouse.

Every wife dreads it when her husband says, “Honey, I think I’m coming down with something.”

That is enough to put fear in the strongest wife, and elicit an urge to take a month long vacation in the Bahamas.  A sick husband is worse than any other ill member of the family. 

“Where are the tissues?” 

Wife hands him the box that always sits on the side table in the living room. 

“Could you make me some soup?”

 Wife stops paying bills and makes some soup.  “Here, Dear, this will help.”In her mind that becomes a prayer, “Please, God, before I do something drastic.”

“I think I might have a fever.”   Wife takes his temperature.

These questions and statements are all preprogrammed into the male well before birth.  In fact it might just be attached to the male gene in his DNA. 

He flops down on the couch, leaves used tissues lying all around, and then moves on to another overstuffed chair, and then another until he has contaminated  every overstuffed chair  in the house. The thermometer is a permanent fixture in his mouth as he takes his temperature every ten minutes and reports it to anyone listening. “I think I’m getting worse. It’s higher than it was.” 

“You just had a cup of hot soup, Dear.”

He opens the windows in the middle of winter.  Ten minutes later he says, “I’m cold.”

Wife covers him with a blanket and shuts the window. 

She goes into the kitchen and he discards the blanket and follows.

“What are you doing?” He looks bleary eyed at her.

“Dishes.  Want to help?”

“No I might give it to someone.”

He drapes himself across the counters and tables, making sure to touch and thus contaminate every surface in the house. 

The wife follows him around with her arms full of handi-wipes, airspray, and other disinfectants.  He wants hugs, kisses and other kinds of affection.  He is concerned he will die tomorrow at the latest.

Three days later he drags himself out of bed and heads reluctantly off to the office.   The wife then spends the entire day disinfecting every surface in the house, and putting everything he has touched into the washing machine. 

He comes home later that night, feeling much better.  The wife sneezes as he comes in. 

“Are you coming down with something?”  He asks it as if it were a total surprise.

“It just a little cold.  I’ll live.”

“Oh good.  I thought maybe it was serious.”  He says as he heads in to dinner.

1 Comment
your daughter
11/27/2012 10:34:37 am

Can't post this on fb as the hubby reads it, but OH MY do you have that correct!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author


    Gwen Kruger, author, writer, crazy person.  I love writing, the outdoors, and my husband, although not necessarily in that order. 

    Archives

    August 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    July 2014
    April 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012

    Categories

    All


    Submit

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.